The Yin and Yang of this day. Oh, the polarity.
I absolutely love my mother and wish so badly I could celebrate this day with her. We are limited by distance as she's in Hawaii and I am not. I wish I could wake up, have coffee with her outside, pointing out the birds and little creatures together. Sitting and welcoming this day together. I would love to buy her a beautiful pot and plant to put just outside so that she can see it from her favorite indoor spot. I would love to bring her to eat somewhere lovely and spoil her, drive around and leisurely take it all in together. And laugh, lots of laughter. Just being with her is a pleasure. While we still have our little disagreements, the overall love I have for her is immeasurable. I hope she always knows this... I think she does, as I'm her favorite. Ha! ( I had to sneak that in ;)
Yet, as a woman who yearned for motherhood but was denied the chance, this day is bittersweet. My partner's disinterest and the ticking clock of my body marked by an illness created a sense of loss that's hard to articulate. I was given a window and eventually, the window had to close. It's a reminder of the family I never had, the chaos of parenthood that eluded me, and the ache of never being called "mom." Even now, tears well up at this reality. Suggestions to adopt feel like empty platitudes; the reality of age and health restrictions, along with the emotional and financial toll, makes it an unattainable dream.
So, we find solace in our furry companions, our green friends, and the bonds of friendship and love that sustain us. We seek refuge in travel, in teaching, in meditation, and sometimes, in medication, to soften the sharp edges of our longing. And most days it works, it works just fine.
To those who, like me, who navigate the prickly terrain of this day while yearning to celebrate, I offer my heartfelt solidarity. Hold close those women whose motherhood journey carries shadows of pain and longing. In the quiet moments of reflection, our shared experiences bind us together.
Outside, nature unfolds in all its splendor—a gentle breeze, blooming flowers, swaying trees, and the chirps of birdsong. It's a reminder of the beauty that surrounds us and the countless wonders we have to be grateful for. In the end, gratitude must be our guiding mantra, even amidst life's complexities.
Now go outside, say hi to a tree, take a walk, deep breath in, we got this :)
I wish you all the very best, big love and beautiful life!
With love, KK
Ho'oponopono is a traditional Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. The word itself can be translated to mean "to make right" or "to correct the errors." It's a process of healing and restoring harmony within oneself, with others, and with the universe.
Say this once to yourself, once to others and once to earth & cosmos. Repeat as often as you feel it necessary.
"I'm sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you"
In its modern form, ho'oponopono is often used as a spiritual and personal development tool. It involves repeating four simple phrases:
- "I'm sorry" (for any wrongdoing or negative thoughts/actions)
- "Please forgive me" (for any harm caused)
- "Thank you" (for the opportunity to make amends and for forgiveness)
- "I love you" (expressing love and gratitude)
By repeating these phrases, practitioners aim to release negative emotions, heal relationships, and cultivate inner peace. The practice emphasizes taking personal responsibility for one's thoughts, actions, and their consequences, while also acknowledging the interconnectedness of all beings.